Currently Listening Odyssey: The Definitive Collection see related

Of Cake

My birthday party was today: a slap i did receive.

I bit my lass upon the nose, and vengenace she acheived.

Said I to her, "Forgive me love. 'Twas my mistake to make.

There's too much makeup on thy face; I thought you were a cake."

Medical School

Monday, June 26, 2005 -

5:45 PM - Care Now Clinic

6:45 PM - [poke, poke, prod, prod]

6:45 1/2 PM - Doctor: Ah, Mr. Vitatoe! I've figured it out!

Chris: You have?

Doctor: Yes. The growth on your inner lip is not one of those mucogen cells. It's just a simple wart-like growth, but it will have to be surgically removed.

Chris: Ok. I'm ready.

Doctor: Hmmmm...yeah. Actually, we don't do that here.

Chris: um...can u refer me to someone who does?

Doctor: You're a PPO instead of an HMO, so...no. That'll be thirty-five dollars.

7:00 PM - Doctor Whatsit's bank account smiles greedily as it consumes the last funds of a poor collgiate Negro.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

6:00 AM - Awaken.

6:55 AM - (Thinking while brushing teeth and looking at Mt. Lippalot) Chris: Hmmm...maybe I could cut that thing off myself.

6:15PM - Chris: Guys, I think i'm gonna cut it. I told Black Woman I wouldn't. I told Whitney Barker I wouldn't. I told Jesus I wouldn't. But they'll forgive me.

6:17 PM - [snip!] [gush, gush, gush...]

6:18 PM - Gauze! Ice! Tweezers! Oreo cookies!

6:19 PM - Chris Vitatoe, M.D.

Eat that Care Now!

Currently Listening A Day Without Rain By Enya see related

Excerpt from "Much Ado About Not Much" poetry book, to be released April 18th. The title:

“Of Lips”

To kiss and to run! What joy is in store!

A lass is for kissing (what more is she for?)

Approach random lasses and kiss them, I say!

But after the kiss you had best run away!

So a kiss for the redhead on 5^th and Revere.

A kiss for all damsels! I kiss without fear!

A smooch for the sisters on Sycamore Street,

A kiss for their maid, and now quick with my feet!

A kiss for the duchess (despite her moustache)

Yes, even her granny, then off with a dash!

A peck to a blonde, whose eyes shine like crystal,

Now run! Run away, out of range of her pistol!

I smooch a good maiden, the lass of my dreams,

Then off with much haste while ignoring her screams.

I run in, kiss the princess, in the castle’s great spire,

Then run while she chases, as mad as hellfire!

Look at me now! Like no other man,

I run, after kissing, as fast as I can.

Look there, ‘tis another fine lass to be kissed!

I must not now tarry! This chance can’t be missed!

I approach now this blonde, whose eyes shine like crystal!

O…my mistake.

I’ve kissed you already. I remember your pistol.

BLAM!!!

Currently Listening Confessions of a Dangerous Mind By Various Artists see related

What you Think you Saw...

A Shameful Half-Confession and Recap of Recent Events in the Life of Chris

      Have you ever thought about how useless the bathroom doors in the guys dorms are? They're so pointless. I mean, all those weirdos in Lange run around naked anyways. So why would they need bathroom doors? Would they suddenly get shy on the pot? i think not. Therefore, we don't need the bathroom doors.

      So, keeping the above in mind, John Adams, Head Cheese and disciplinarian of DBU Residence Life, you should know that a certain person on campus may have purchased a scimitar, an Arab sword, and whilst...experimenting...with this sword in his bedroom, he cut a nick into the bathroom door. Least that's what i've heard. But, before you make any rash decisions, read what is written next:

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy." Matthew 5:7

      The books come in tommorow. Yay and a half!

      So, after that good news, John Adams, which i hope has brightened your mood, you may also need to know that that same person, as mentioned above, may or may not have purchased a 68' samurai sword, and he may or may not have threatened  to remove the...organs...of one of the students in his hall who was playing loud music at 3:45 AM. I'm just saying, it's a possibility.

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Matthew 7:1

      The book release party is set for April 6th! Black woman and black man are gonna be able to make it, and so is the bro and the sis. Happy times, happy times. They better come at least. Family...ah, family. Is there anything better than family?

      And it would break any mother's heart to see her son in handcuffs. We should all (espescially if our initials be J. A.) remember this when I say that there may or may not be five or six thirteen inch Japanese daggers in a certain person's lower dresser drawer. Just maybe. But there's no need to involve the cops, if that ever should happen, or you hear tell of such a thing, that is.

     "Call the Po-Po, hoe!" - Mabel "Madea" Evans, Diary of a Mad Black Woman

      I have two more chapters left to finish the novel! Whohoo! Heck yeah! So it would be a shame if I were hindered from completing everything.] Yes, a pitiful shame indeed, that would be hard to forgive by all who heard tale of it.

   Hope no one beats me up or kicks me out of school. Not that they would, not that i've done anything. I'm just saying, is all.

Currently Listening Chronicles 1992-2004 By Caedmon's Call see related

God is so incredible! And it's amazing to me how vast and how endless the task of knowing him can be. It seems that the closer I get to Hiom i become more frustrated, because I realize that there is always something more to learn about him, his nature, and his ways. I was reading Job today, and thought I'd share a few things.

The First: The Lord allows the righteous to suffer. Job 1:1 says that job was blameless and upright, that he feared God and turned away from evil. Yet in Job 1:12 God says to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your hands..." letting Satan destroy his livelihood and family. Moreover, in Job 2:6, God allows Satan to harm Job's physical body itself.

The Second: The Lord sometimes not only allows, but initiates suffering. In this account, to harm Job was not Satan's idea, but rather God prodded him into the act. Satan has no directive until God gives him one. God asks what he has been doing [paraphrase], Satan has no directive, so God gives him one by putting an idea into his head, "Have you considered my servant Job?"

The Third: A two-fold truth - A) Satan cannot force us into sin. B) Satan is not omniscient.. In Job 1:11, Satan states that if God will remove his protection from job, Job will curse God. Eventually, though he tries his hardest, Job does not curse God (1:22). Again, Satan makes a claim that he can get Job to curse God, in 2:4-5. But again, he is proven wrong (2:10) Job is a perfect example, because even under tremendous strain and tribulation, much more than most of us can claim we've ever been through, he held fast to his ethics and remained righteous. We should take strength from this, and realize that there is never a sin that we HAVE to do. Whenever someone says, "I just couldn't take the pressure," or something along those lines, it's just a cheap excuse, and i'd even go so far as to say that they're lying to themselves.